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Flames and four-letter words


Volume 1, No. 21, 14/6/2000


discover new sites and the secrets to web success

Volume 1, No. 21 Flames and four-letter words June 14, 2000

Yvette Nielsen, Editor, yvette@brizcomm.com.au

This free newsletter is distributed by subscription only. If
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If you believe in gender stereotypes, men don't read instructions.

Having spent a wet long weekend assembling a full-size trampoline,
I reckon you blokes have the right idea.

Who writes the instructions for do-it-yourself assemblies anyway?
The boss's dog? Grrrr.

When you consider how much you pay for this stuff, the least the
manufacturer could do is spend a few bucks on a professional
writer to ease the pain of assembly.

Plain-English language would have saved me four bleeding knuckles,
four days' mucking about in mud and countless four-letter words.

The same applies to web sites. If you can't explain your business
to your visitors in simple clear terms, pay an expert who can.

Your professional reputation and success might well depend on it.

While we're flaming, the Olympic Torch brightened a dull day for
many locals in Brisbane, judging by the colourful throngs lining
the streets in the western suburbs at least.

Can't say I'm passionate about sport but my first glimpse of the
hallowed flame did provide a momentary warm and fuzzy.

Shame I didn't buy a trampoline earlier. . .


PS Brisbane web content workshop on Thursday, 22 June. Singapore on
29 June and 5 July.



1. Web content tip
2. Internet marketing seminar
3. Free book
4. Scones, tennis and mopeds
5. More PC health tips
6. Surf Club links
7. Weekly chuckle


1. Web content tip

Managing a web development team is a challenge, no doubt about it.

No wonder really when you consider the differences between the key
players – high-tech programmers, visually creative designers and
word-miser content writers.

WebLA 2000, held earlier this month in Pasadena, California, offered
tips on this topic as well as writing for the web, unusual usability
approaches, visual design, DHTML, XHTML, and forthcoming languages
and standards.

Read all about it at WebReview.com, "cross-training for web teams":


2. Internet marketing seminar

Learn about direct marketing and audience generation at a seminar
about Internet marketing on Monday, 26 June.

The Information Industry Board (IIB) will host the seminar from
5.30pm to 7.30pm at the IIB Seminar Rooms, Level 2, Leighton House,
143 Coronation Drive, Milton, Brisbane.

The seminar has been developed for managers and professionals
working in the IT&T industries.

Speakers include Kirsty Garrett, general manager of the Brisbane
office of ZIVO Internet Solutions, and Melissa McLean-Reid, general
manager of Multinet Queensland.

Send your RSVP (subject: Internet Marketing) to Amy Lee by email

* See the latest IIB newsletter for more information about the
seminar and other events (eg AusWeb, KM Forum, venture capital),
industry news and opportunities (eg IT&T skills, a new State
purchasing policy, a new e-business course at UQ) and reports
(eg smart content management, telecommunications):


3. Free book

How can you regain your passion for life? How can you feel better
about yourself? How can you become healthier?

Aussie sporting champs Trevor Hendy and Sam Riley reckon they have
the answers and are willing to share in their new book, "Shape Up

One brizcomm reader can have a free copy in return for a 100-word
review for the site.

Just email yvette@brizcomm.com.au (first in, first served).


4. Scones, tennis and mopeds

Have you ever said "yes" then wished you'd said "no"?

Brizcomm's newest columnist Pollyanna knows all about it.

Old Grumpy puzzles over the rare "birds" on the professional
tennis circuit while Cameron Koo attacks moped madness.



5. More PC health tips

Don't forget to read part two of eWork Exchange's series on "10
Tips For A Healthier PC" by Chip Brookshaw (love that name).

Essential reading for would-be-nerds.


7. Surf Club
* all reviews are hotlinked at http://www.brizcomm.com.au/f-surf.htm

The Darwin Awards
The Darwin Award is one accolade you don't want to win. Snippets
from this site regularly do the email rounds, ensuring infamy for
the unfortunate awardees. The site aims to use humour to teach the
theory of evolution, with "accounts of people who met an untimely
demise due to nothing more than their own substandard intelligence
genes". New stories have been added each month since 1994. The
urban legends section is also worth a look.
In a net shell: Macabre mirth.

Hear Books Now
If you have a computer, sound card and decent microphone, you
can join people from all over the world to record spoken audio.
The aim is to create a massive online library of audio books.
Audition for a part in a multi-voiced book or suggest your own
In a net shell: Hear ye.

Sesame Workshop
The creators of television's first truly educational show, Sesame
Street, are making the most of the new medium with lots of engaging
free content for children and parents including creative recipe
ideas and 250 coping strategies. Dig in for games, stories, e-cards,
site-seeing safaris, online activities, printouts, learning games
for babies, and a sibling rivalry quiz.
In a net shell: Tickled me.

Mensa Workout
Give your brain a workout with Mensa, the organisation whose
100,000 members have IQs in the top two per cent of the population
and range in age from four to 94. You have 30 minutes to take the
test and solve problems such as: "If two typists can type two pages
in two minutes, how many typists will it take to type 18 pages in
six minutes?" Although your score does not qualify you for
membership, you will discover whether you're Mensa material.
In a net shell: Smart thinking.

Pick up free tips on speech writing and public speaking for
eulogies, graduations, weddings, parties… anything really. Learn
how to build a solid foundation for your speech through knowing
your audience, the occasion and expectations. Discover how to
write, structure and deliver your speech with hints on what to
do and not to do.
In a net shell: Speak up.

The Cook's Thesaurus
If you don't know your beater from your batter, thumb through
this online cooking encyclopedia. The Cook's Thesaurus covers
thousands of ingredients and kitchen tools with pictures,
descriptions, synonyms, pronunciations and suggested substitutions.
In a net shell: Kitchen handy.


8. Weekly chuckle

What Your Computer Is Trying To Tell You

It says: "Press Any Key"
It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving."

It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting
error no. 1A4-2546512430E"
It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only
to be told that it's a hardware problem."

It says: "Installing program to C:\...."
It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:\windows
and C:\windows\system where you'll NEVER find them."

It says: "Please insert disk 11"
It means: "Because I know darn well there are only 10 disks."

It says: "Not enough memory"
It means: "I don't CARE if you've got 64MB of RAM, I want to use
the bit below 640K."

It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...."
It means: "... However, if you put the CD in right side up..."

It says: "Please Wait...."
It means: "... Indefinitely."

It says: "Directory does not exist...."
It means: ".... any more. Whoops."

It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close."
It means: "....Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting
your work back."


May your dreams keep burning bright.


Yvette Nielsen, Editor
phone 041 771 8683
Brizcomm, PO Box 2026, Bardon, Queensland 4065, Australia

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